I'm a Stay at Home Mom

June 12, 2014

I'm a stay at home mom. I'm actually saying that out loud while I write this, and it still astounds me. I never saw myself as a stay at home mom, or stay at home anything. I'm a busy bee, and a total sociable person, and to think that the only person I get to interact with is my son- sometimes depresses me, but here's a secret... I wouldn't want it any other way! Yes, sometimes while I'm singing along to Olivia I question my sanity, and look at my Cum Laude English Degree and cringe at the fact that I'm not working at a magazine or finishing my Masters like I planned, but sometimes life gives you curve balls; and my curve ball was in the form of a baby- with a smile that lights up my heart and soul.

I live with my boyfriend, son, sister, and nephew. We are actually fortunate enough to live in a pretty big 3 bedroom apartment in New York. Sometimes though, I hate it, because it's too large to keep tidy while having a 6 month old crawl around, a 6 year old screaming for me to make him a PB&J, and still trying to manage to have supper on the table for a family of 5. There are days when the house looks like a tornado just zoomed by; and then, there are times when I'm like "Oh Sookie Sookie now!" because the house is actually tidy enough to have visitors, and I have dinner at least started.

When it comes to interacting with other adults besides my sister and boyfriend, well, there isn't much actually. I try to keep up and talk to the community of mamas on Instagram, but I haven't had the balls enough to set up playdates. Moms I do know from school either have younger babies then Shiloh, or they have children way older than him. I try to go out and interact with other moms at the park, but it's difficult to be honest. Sometimes, I do feel lonely, and yes maybe I cry, but from time to time I do get to see my friends when we plan dinner dates. Those are the days I look forward to. I guess as a stay at home mom I should try and interact with other moms just to make sure my son doesn't become a hermit like his mama.

Sometimes, I do wish I was in the real world working and commuting around the city, and writing awesome articles, but I think I'm okay for now. I keep telling myself that. I don't want to discourage other stay at home moms, because it's a really rewarding job, and by no means easy, but it gets lonely sometimes. The reason I am a stay at home mom is because I don't really trust anyone else with my child. My mom lives in Massachusetts, and my boyfriends parents have 9 to 5 schedules; so, I really don't have much of a choice. I don't just want to leave him with a babysitter (I've seen some scary videos online of babysitter cruelty,) and I also don't want to miss the milestones. 

I am also really getting the hang of attachment parenting, the bond me and my child have is unbreakable. Whenever he looks at me, he flashes the cutest gummy smile in the world, and it literally just reassures me that I'm doing a great job. Yes job! That's my job, to be this wonderful kids mom, and to nurture him, love him, feed him, and guide him in this big wide world. So, for now I'm okay with talking to myself and my son, singing along to Nick Jr. shows, and strolling around the city alone with my baby bear. But hey if you are a New York City mama and need a companion or playdate hit up the contact us page and leave me a message! I would love to set up playdates with other mama readers! 

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